Nothing Like A Good Faxy…
Professional arm-whittler Madonna looks set to have all her private and somewhat personal sweet nothings disclosed to the world in a very public auction. ‘Erotic phone messages, intimate amateur video and lovey-dovey faxes’ which the singer sent to a former lover are just some of the items up for sale in the US. Staggeringly, a cassette featuring answer phone messages from the singer are going for minimum bid of $25,000!! We’re scratching our heads in bewilderment with who could possibly want to listen to her dull drones, but if anyone is up for starting a collection for a permanent muffler, then put us down for a fiver…
Oy Blake, Shut It!
Not a week goes past without the country’s favourite caner Amy Winehouse hitting the headlines for all the wrong reasons and this week has seen a flurry of revelations disclosed by her loving junkie ex Blake Fielder-Civil, - what a darl eh? He claims that back in 2007 the couple were partying away with Kate Moss in a New York hotel room (as you do) when Amy went into the supermodel’s handbag to find a $10 note but instead nicked two grams of cocaine. We can only imagine how thrilled Kate must be with these revelations and the delightful Blake goes on to disclose how Wino almost died in his arms, carried a crack pipe wherever she went and generally pretty much all the dirty in and outs of their hedonistic life together. Blah blah, blah, yawn, yawn, yawn - Blake, get over it and get a job!
And They Were All Yellow
The jolly lads off of Coldplay are being turned into little yellow men for a very special episode of The Simpsons this September to celebrate the show’s 20th anniversary series. The plot looks firmly tongue in cheek as Homer wins the lottery and invites the award-winning band to perform at his house where all sorts of hilarious things happen. Could this be the news of the decade: Coldplay having a laugh and not taking themselves too seriously?
Now Then, Mardy Bum…
Could this be the beginning of a new pop feud? All’s gone quiet and rather boring since the likes of Oasis, Lily Allen and Cheryl Cole have decided not to take a pop at anyone recently. But it seems the Arctic Monkeys are itching for a slagging match by taking a swipe at the poptastic Ting Tings. The Monkey’s drummer Matt Helders spoke out about the Northern duo’s songwriting ability and the fact they won an Ivor Novello for chart classics such as Shut Up And Let Me Go: “I think (the awards) have been cheapened,” he blathered in his distinct northern brogue, before adding: “It’s supposed to be for songwriting. There’s a lot better songwriting ability out there.” Ouch! Handbags down and back in your box love.
It’s Perezcious. No, Really…
Sliimy. Who is Sliimy? That’s what we thought when we saw that everybody who’s anybody was tweeting about this Sliimy creature. No, it’s not some new faddy wax, diet or type of botox - rather, it’s Perez Hilton’s first signing to his new record label Perezcious Music. Already being described as ‘fabulous’ (and not a little Mika-lite), this quirky 20-year-old Frenchman has supported Britney Spears and Katy Perry on tour and if Perez has anything to do with it, you can pretty much guarantee Sliimy will be getting an excessive amount of exposure all over the gossip columns. The first single Wake Up and debut album Paint Your Face are both released this September - for more, check out www.sliimy.net.
(Philippa Proctor)
